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#52, March 19th, 2024
Hey Shani,
What do you say when a friend asks “Would you be so kind as to plan my baby shower?” What words articulate the disdain for being expected to celebrate a milestone THEY chose to reach? How are you supposed to address the upset when you see you’re seated with the randos at some back-of-the-venue table because the bride couldn’t squeeze in a single chair with the coupled crew you actually know? I genuinely would love a script that won’t be detrimental to the relationship, but doesn’t ignore the painful reality of the situation.
Hey You,
So, you’re kind of asking for a magic trick. I will start my answer by saying sometimes there’s no perfect script, no flawless words that can communicate how you feel without ruffling a single feather, particularly when someone has ruffled yours so ceremoniously. I like to think that the relationships we’re meant for can take a knock or two, so maybe give your friends some credit when you express yourself, but also remember nothing makes someone feel more offended than finding out they offended someone else. It shouldn’t work that way but it absolutely does, we’re human beings and most of us have the emotional maturity of a five year old desperately in need of a nap. You’re going to meet some resistance, and that’s okay—it doesn’t mean you were wrong.