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#39, December 19th, 2023
Hey Shani,
How do you deal with rejection? How do you feel about girls asking guys out?
Hey You,
I get the sense that fear of rejection is convincing a lot of single people that they’re single because they fear rejection. I don’t think that’s even remotely true. Love doesn’t favor the bold, brave, or brazen and it doesn’t shun the shy. I think we all connect with the people we’re meant to connect with, and we are all different and attracted to different things—thank goodness. In situations where something’s actually meant to develop, fear of rejection won’t be a key factor. For now, to answer you—there’s no way to approach this stuff that’ll make you fully rejection-proof, but I hope I can help alleviate the fear a bit.
I feel the same way about girls asking guys out as I do guys asking girls out. We should do what we want when we feel the time is right and the vibes are appropriate. If you feel compelled to ask someone out, I think fearing rejection should be the last thing to stop you, because that fear will keep you from doing quite a lot of things, romantic or otherwise. If you don’t feel capable or comfortable in these situations, you’re not lacking anything. Having the ability to ask someone out isn’t the difference between singlehood and partnership, in my opinion. Of course I’ve asked guys out in the past and of course they’ve asked me out. We both been rejected in those scenarios. Everyone lived.