Hey Shani

Hey Shani

Share this post

Hey Shani
Hey Shani
Holiday Single Sadness

Holiday Single Sadness

And a few ideas on how to to help.

Shani Silver's avatar
Shani Silver
Dec 24, 2024
∙ Paid
12

Share this post

Hey Shani
Hey Shani
Holiday Single Sadness
Share

Welcome to Hey Shani, an advice column by Shani Silver. I do not publish free content, but if you’d like to read this post as well as the entire archive you can subscribe here. Thank you for enjoying the work of independent writers.

Hey Shani is currently accepting new questions! Email yours to heyshanisubstack@gmail.com.

#91, December 24th, 2024

Hey Shani,

I’m sure you hear this all the time, but I’m really sad about spending the holidays single. Again. I know there’s nothing “wrong” with being single, but every year it still hits me hard. Any advice on how to stop feeling so sad about it?

Hey You,

The short answer is yes, of course. If you don’t want to feel sad around the holidays, I’ve absolutely picked up a few tricks over the years. You are more than welcome to them and I’ll list them below. Before I do, I also want to explore the crux of the question, which is the fact that singlehood is causing you sadness, and the sadness is more acute at the holidays. For the record everything is more acute at the holidays, so you’re not alone there.

It’s always okay to feel sad about being single. There is a certain joy that comes from being in love, or being partnered, let’s not pretend it isn’t real. It’s okay to long for something you want, and there’s no shame in that. So maybe the first step is acknowledging that there’s nothing wrong with feeling sad right now, or ever. Your authentic feelings are never wrong. But I do understand that sometimes we’re just ready to feel something else.

This post is for paid subscribers

Already a paid subscriber? Sign in
© 2025 Shani Silver
Privacy ∙ Terms ∙ Collection notice
Start writingGet the app
Substack is the home for great culture

Share