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#49, February 27th, 2024
Hey Shani,
How do I start to date after five years of cancer treatment?
Hey You,
If you just spent five years fighting and winning against cancer you’re the one I want advice from, friend. In my opinion there’s NOTHING you can’t do. While I have not shared your experience, I will say that from where I sit, you are an absolute hero and a vision in a world where most days it seems everything is insurmountable. You surmounted some serious shit, babe.
The starting place, I think, is mindset. Remember that you’re not coming into dating at any kind of deficit just because you’ve spent the last five years out of that game for really important reasons. Time away from the dating space does not equal a lack of fitness for it. Divorced people date and remarry all the time, and they were out of the game sometimes for decades. (I also hate calling dating a “game” but it’s a familiar reference.) So in asking me how you start, maybe also ask yourself why you’re approaching this activity from a less-worthy place than anyone else—because there’s nothing about a five year absence from dating that actually puts you at any disadvantage at all.