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#43, January 16th, 2024
Hey Shani,
I know you don’t believe in dating advice but what is your opinion on asking men out? Most of the dating gurus tell women not to do it which I think weakens a woman’s confidence. I have mixed feelings about it. On one hand I feel that if I am interested in someone I should make my interest known. I don’t want to be limited to men who choose me who I may not be interested in. But it’s also been my experience that if I have to ask a guy out he’s probably not that into me. Thanks.
Hey You,
The reason single, straight women go so insane with all the “dating advice” is that it asks us to do things that feel inauthentic. Dating advice tries to train single women into behaving in ways they don’t want to behave thereby creating two different types of pain when the advice doesn’t “work.” First, we feel like an unwantable failure because we didn’t get the guy, and second we feel stupid because apparently we didn’t put the “advice” to work correctly—it we did it would have worked, right? Which then prompts us to go back for more (and more) dating advice that will leave us frustrated, exhausted, angry, and upset until we wake the fuck up and realize that dating advice’s only real purpose is to addict us to dating advice coming from entirely unqualified people who contradict themselves on a daily basis. Ask him the fuck out, is what I’m saying.