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#57, April 23rd 2024
Hey Shani,
I’m finding too many articles talking about how single people are still single after years because we’re “not trying hard enough.” Why are people assuming we do nothing but Netflix it on the couch and pray the ‘hubby’ will ring the doorbell and say here I am? So triggered right now.
Hey You,
By and large, singlehood is still seen as a moral failing among those who connect their value to their romantic partnership. If we’re single, others assume there is either a) something wrong with us, or b) something wrong with our approach to finding a partner. This is not a single person’s problem, it’s a coupled person’s problem, but coupled people are very good at rebranding shit.
In real life, there is no correlation between who someone is and how much they deserve to be single. Assholes get married every Saturday. Further, it doesn’t matter if you try “hard enough” for a decade or if you never tried at all. You are equally likely to meet your partner in both scenarios because we can never predict or orchestrate when, where, and how we will meet someone. Human beings meeting in real life is not up to us. It is up to chance and luck. People in love don’t like to hear that though, it isn’t romantic enough. It doesn’t give them credit for “accomplishing” love. Again, not our problem. It’s still fucking true.