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#63, June 11th, 2024
Hey Shani,
How do I get my friends and family to stop asking “So, how’s dating going?” literally every time they see me? It’s often the very first thing they ask me, too. Like the only thing that matters to them about me is how close I am to having a partner. It makes me feel so low and I want it to stop. Help?
Hey You,
I’m happy to help! I also can’t wait to talk about this in a broader context than just “what do I say to make them stop,” because while a one-liner might feel like a win in the moment, I really don’t think it has as much staying power as shifting your mindset around the situation as a whole.
It’s never anyone’s business. Let’s start there. I know dating might be a “fun” topic of conversation to those who aren’t relying on it as a means to find companionship, but in reality it’s your private life. It’s your honest desire for a romantic partner and you never have to discuss it with anyone unless you genuinely want to. A single person’s romantic life is not small talk—the exact same way someone else’s marriage isn’t. So here let’s talk about their words, your mindset, and how to let this go.