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#60, May 21st 2024
Hey Shani,
How can we accept that we may never partner when that’s what we’ve wanted our whole lives?
Hey You,
Well…you don’t really have to, but I get the sense that you want to, so that’s how I’ll answer this question. Let me first say however that whether you accept being “alone forever” or not, life is going to shake out any way it wants. Acceptance of permanent singlehood doesn’t make a partner magically appear, and it doesn’t prevent you from meeting one, either. What you think about your relationship status’ future has zero impact on it. I just want to make that clear because I’ve heard enough woo-woo bullshit to the contrary to fill a swimming pool. The old kinds of swimming pools too, you know like when they still had deep ends?
If you find discomfort in the uncertainty of singlehood, I don’t blame you. No one likes uncertainty regarding the future, and romantic partnership is one of the most uncertain futures there is. I get why it can feel better to accept or decide that you’re going to be alone forever, because feeling certain about something, even when it’s a something you don’t want, feels better than simply never knowing. I see how that provides some comfort. I don’t agree with it, but I respect it, and for you…I’ll write about it.