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#78, September 24th, 2024
Hey Shani,
How do I support single friends who I love and admire while I’m married?
Hey You,
Excellent question! While I’m a little annoyed that the world is set up in such a way that we don’t naturally know how to do this just like we’d show up for anyone else, I do appreciate the conversation coming up. There is never a need for partnered people and single people to experience strained friendships, because romantic partnerships and singlehood have nothing to do with our friendships, but I think we all know that reality doesn’t always match the way things “should” be.
The first thing to remember is that your single friends are no different from your partnered friends, and they shouldn’t be treated any differently, either. That’s the biggest hurdle. It’s odd to me, particularly since getting married is an alteration to our lives, rather than remaining single which is the same thing as just…continuing on with life. Your single friends aren’t the weird ones, and they haven’t done anything wrong. If you can get on board with that, the rest of this will be a cakewalk.