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#67, July 9th, 2024
Hey Shani,
How do I stop feeling so jealous/angry about my partnered friends’ finances? It makes me so angry that they split rent, bills, etc. and I’m out here doing literally everything on one income. I’ll never be able to save for the down payment they could save for, I’ll never be able to afford to travel as often (or ever). I just get so angry and frustrated, like I’ll never be able to get on top of things and they have literally all the love and twice the money. It doesn’t even have to be about the money really, I’m just SO tired of feeling like this.
Hey You,
Honeyyyyyy. You came to the right Substack. Let it out! Let out the anger, frustration, jealousy, let all the feelings come to the surface and scream themselves out of you through vocal, physical, or emotional release. Dance it out, punch it out, paint it out, sing it out—I don’t care, just vent this shit from your body in a responsible way as soon as possible because we never deserve to make ourselves sick due to stifled emotions and we sure as fuck don’t deserve to make ourselves sick because of other people’s money. Get it out of you, so that we can do the real work of getting over it forever.
It feels bad because it’s real. There are very real financial benefits to being in romantic partnership and very real detriments to being single, particularly for a long period of time through your adulthood. Couples are splitting rent and mortgages, they’re on each other’s health care plans, they’re splitting internet and electricity, they’re on bundled phone plans, they’re getting tax benefits, they’re splitting hotel rooms when they travel and all that money they’re saving is growing faster in their investment accounts because there’s more of it and they were able to save it in the first place because there’s two incomes under one roof. The world can’t lie to me about this stuff, because I’ve been seeing through it—the best thing a person can do for themselves financially is be in a romantic partnership. Period. So what about those who can’t find one? We fucked or what?